Moving on

It's a funny thing when you realize the very thing you've been praying for is actually the end of your own role in the story. It's surreal to be wiping weepy eyes when discovering God has provided. I realized this evening that my stint at kids' club could potentially be ending, and at the very least will undergo an extended hiatus during which time, life will go on. It will be 5 years!
I remember my first monday.
I'd been begrudgingly peeling carrots when I discovered a little group of dirty kids colouring in an obscure back room. To think I'd been held hostage amid the humming freezers when a whole group of kids were enjoying cookies and germs in the next room while I was slaving seemed rather unjust! Within three months the two girls who started the fledgling kids' club disappeared, leaving me the unsuspecting and unenthusiastic "kids' club leader". ha ha
And that's when I started that prayer - it's been a desperate cry, a frustrated demand, a mournful request and now, answered. Help! Please, just help me. And now, in fact, it's been answered six times over!
The part of Louise that is wholly evil and self important is mourning the fact that I will leave in January and I won't be missed. But there is a tiny place in my heart where I recognize and acknowledge the God who loves those kids far more than I do, providing. There's even a shred or two of thankfulness for the way he's raised up these people to love them.
And so there's hope.
Carissa and Fred assured me yesterday, in a moment of pitch black, that there's hope. And it broke through like the first hint of dawn already today. Tatiyana asked me how my day at school was, and that, is the first time. So, I'll take my little assorted and mismatched array of treasures, those things the world would never recognize, and tonight, it will be enough.