Fundraising sucks.

I need approximately ten thousand dollars.
$10000.
1000000 cents.
That's a lot of cash. For me. As a teacher.
And so, the thing is, for me to actually be boarding a plane in 3 months means that I will need to procure this money by then.
The following are my only foreseeable options.
1. Get lots of credit cards and then fake my own death so I don't have to pay them back. (Because I won't have an income before next August and I'm terrified of interest.)
2. Start doing a lot of illegal things like selling other people's kidneys or children.
3. Sell my own kidneys and children. (Though three months is not really long enough to make a child, especially at the rate that I date, forget procreate.)
4. Find someone to sponsor me.
5. Get adopted by a millionaire.
6. Rob a bank.
7. Dognap Paris Hilton's mutt.
8. Have a bake sale every day for the next 90 days and hope that I can average around $100 a day which would be approximately 8 pies, 5 cakes, 7 chocolate zucchini loaves and 13 dozen cookies.
9. Busk. Which, I think if I played my cards right, might result in people paying me to stop playing.
10. Ask for help. This idea sucks because I guess I just don't know why other people should help me. I'm not really sure how to ask.

Maybe I'll have a moment like Jesus and Caesar and the fish when his disciple just pulled enough money out of a random fish to pay his taxes. That sounds like a good idea. I'll pray for money fish.