case in point

Starbucks has had a promotion going on all month.
Free coffee for teachers every Monday morning. How sweet. At least someone values us.
How many Mondays in September? 5.
How many Mondays have I been in Starbucks? 4.
Number of free coffees? 0.
Today I only went because it was free and I've decided I can't blow cash on coffee!
How am I going to ask people for money when I can't even ask for a free coffee?
I need a stunt man.