How to Meet a Good Man at a G'N'R Tribute Band

As a young, single female who has suddenly found herself craving books and wine and her couch on weekends, I've noticed myself in fewer and fewer situations wearing lipstick and a good pair of heels. So how is a girl supposed to meet any decent men while lounging in her own living room? Not that I've ever been one to go on "the prowl", but it seemed this past weekend's adventures proved great fodder for contemplation and analysis. Grasping at straws you say? Good men and Guns 'n Roses? Well, why not?
How would you know if you'd found 'the one'?
I guess the first thing a girl needs to do is ask herself a few questions:
1. Do I like a man with feathered hair that is longer, shinier and better maintained than mine?
2. Do I like a man in tighter, smaller jeans than me which show explicit and irrefutable evidence of a tighter, smaller derriere?
3. Do I like a man who sings in a high pitched, Axel Rose-esque voice while headbanging his long, blond locks into the paralyzer of the woman with matching hair in front of him?
4. Am I okay with the fact that when this man begins to bald and his gut rolls out over his skin-tight jeans, I will still have to stand beside him in the grocery store check-out?

If you answered 'yes' to the above questions, chances are you are a perfect candidate for finding a good man at this unconventional venue. If you answered 'no' to any of the above questions it's possible that Guns 'n Roses, maybe Metallica, Aerosmith, Def Lepard, Led Zepplin, and other classic rock tribute bands might not be the place to find your soul mate.
In which case ensure you have:
1. your best friend
2. your dancing shoes.
3. and an appreciation for the lost art of truly rocking out.